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Raleigh Divorce Law Blog

Stressful life evens and the risk of divorce: Part II

Earlier this week, we began discussing life events that can strain marriages to their breaking point. Although each couple is different, there are a number of life events that put stress on relationships, sometimes increasing the risk of divorce.

We mentioned trauma in our first post, but the discussion was limited to military couples where one spouse had experienced trauma in combat. But trauma of any kind can threaten the health of a relationship.

Stressful life evens and the risk of divorce: Part I

In one of our posts last week, we discussed the impact that one spouse's long-term illness can have on the strength of a marriage. A recent study revealed that when the ill spouse is the woman, the couple is 6 percent more likely to get divorced than if she had stayed healthy.

Although the divorce risk is small and gender-specific, it is easy to see how a long-term illness could impact the strength of a marriage. Health problems nearly always come with consequences that can affect a couple's finances, jobs, chosen partner roles and overall satisfaction. In this week's posts, we'll discuss some other types of life events that can put a strain on marriages and, in some cases, increase the risk of divorce.

The conversations couples need to have about degenerative illness

Americans are living longer, on average, than they were even a half-century ago. While an expanded life expectancy is a wonderful thing, it also comes with some serious trade-offs. It seems as though degenerative illnesses and disabilities are increasing among older Americans, including Alzheimer's and other forms of dementia.

This creates a difficult conundrum for some married couples. On the one hand, you want to (and feel obligated to) take care of your spouse - even if caregiving becomes a full-time job. On the other hand, if your spouse no longer recognizes you because of advanced mental deterioration, your marriage is no longer a two-way relationship. It can be very lonely.

Reframing the conversation and changing attitudes about divorce

Many people who have gone through divorce tend to think of the act as a sign of failure. They may blame themselves or they may blame their ex-spouse, but blame of some sort is usually part of the equation. Should it be this way?

In a sense, divorce could be considered "failure," because it is an admission that a married relationship is no longer working and must come to an end. But increasingly, Americans are beginning to reframe the conversation and adopting the attitude that "'til death do us part" may not be realistic.

Super hero single parents

Since your divorce or separation from your single partner, who do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you see someone who is defeated or empowered? Lost or value-driven? Exhausted or invigorated? Do you see a hero? If you don’t see a hero, do not despair. With a certain amount of focus you may start to appear like a super hero to your child and perhaps even to yourself.

Super heroes tend to embody virtue and some form of power that may be considered super human. In order to embody virtue, you need not be perfect. You “simply” need to focus on your most important values and to do your best to advance your child’s best interests. No matter what your child custody arrangement specifics are, if you do these things when your child is at home and even when he or she is not, you will almost certainly appear to be virtuous in his or her eyes eventually.

Challenging common myths about divorce: Part II

Earlier this week, we began a discussion about some of most prevalent myths about divorce. Many myths can be traced back, in part, to early sociological studies on family law issues.

This early research often suffered from either inaccurate data or bias due to the social stigma that surrounded divorce (which is slowly going away). Two prominent examples include the assertion that divorce harms children and that living together prior to getting married increases a couple's risk of divorce.

Challenging common myths about divorce: Part I

When it comes to societal norms and institutions, there is no shortage of conventional wisdom, rules of thumb and practical advice. Anyone getting married or getting divorced has probably heard them all.

Unfortunately, the wisdom, rules and advice people give are often based on conceptions of marriage and divorce that are either outdated or were never actually true to begin with. Yet these myths persist. In this week's posts, we'll discuss some common divorce and marriage myths and why they are incorrect.

As marriage changes in America, so does the need for prenups

If asked to picture a first marriage, most people would describe two people in their late teens or early 20s, fresh out of school with no assets to speak of. It's true that some first marriages start like this, but this model is far less common than it was a half-century ago.

Many young Americans are waiting longer to get married, which means that they are more likely to have acquired some personal assets and to have established themselves in a career. In light of the way that marriage has changed, prenuptial agreements are becoming more common and arguably more necessary.

How a spouse's long-term illness can impact divorce risk

What are the stressors that really impact the health of a marriage? As we discussed last week, one major stressor is money. Couples who don't see eye to eye on financial matters may experience higher levels of conflict and, sometimes, an increased risk of divorce.

Another stressor that can affect the health of a marriage is . . . health. More accurately, one spouse's long-term illness can increase the risk that the couple will divorce. But researchers who have studied this phenomenon note that the divorce risks are gender-specific.

Money matters in marriage and divorce: Part II

Earlier this week, we began a discussion about how money disagreements and disputes can negatively impact relationships. In some cases, couples do not share similar attitudes toward money, budgeting and spending. In other cases, one spouse has both extensive knowledge and control of the couple's finances while the other has neither.

It is the latter scenario that we'll be discussing in today's post. While mismatched money responsibilities don't necessarily increase a couple's risk of divorce, they can certainly be a complicating factor if that couple ever decides to dissolve the relationship.

Firm founder Jonathan Breeden has earned his nickname of "The Bulldog." He takes a direct, straight ahead approach at resolving his client's family law, criminal law, and business related problems. He knows when it's in your best interests to negotiate a resolution or litigate your case in court.
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